The Infinite Napkin

I’m working on a crime series with Will Beard right now. We somehow always kept doing cowboy ideas, so we worked to break the cycle for now. I asked what I always ask the artist–”What do you want to draw?”

Will’s answer: crime. We’re both great admirers of Eduardo Risso’s work, so we knew it would look noir. But was it going to be noir? Well, it’s going to be a pretty modern tale of theft and shifting alliances, but the players will be a bit unusual. I have a default setting to making white male characters, and it wasn’t a choice so much as me just projecting in all directions. I’ve made a conscious effort to vary characters these days.

Here’s the opener to the first issue:

LYMAN V/O: Working in the sewers of Freedom City, Texas doesn’t lend itself to romance. It’s a combined storm and effluent system, meaning it’s twice as gross and deadly as you can imagine. On a good rain day, it’s like whitewater rafting with turds fighting for a chance to plop into your screaming mouth. When it’s been dry, gas pockets form that are just big enough that you couldn’t run out of it for a breath on the best day of your life. The gas in question is not oxygen. The turds strike again. We drive around in a truck for a lot of the day and spend the odd few hours down here unclogging the system. You’re happy when you manage to plunge your efforts clear of the bowl. Imagine our joy blowing loose a six foot tunnel of it.

But the theme? Movies. We’re gonna nerd it up. You will see.

The most interesting development is that we are aiming to do 24-28 page large size issues (like Syphilitic Cowboys), but in getting used to Will’s pacing, I undershot with the first issue. He called me a while back to say “It’s nine pages.” The way I write, I do screenplay format. I leave the panels and pacing to the guys with the mice and brushes. So now I’m stuck. “Do you want me to expand some stuff?” I ask. “No, it’s good as it is.” So, we move forward. There will be two chapters of the story in each issue from here. That’s pretty cool for dinking around with points of view and such.

I’m plain excited about the project, so excited I can’t even come up with a name for it yet. I’ve even been writing in on a huge sheet of packing paper folded into columns. That’s the way to roll.

I’m working on a crime series with Will Beard right now. We somehow always kept doing cowboy ideas, so we worked to break the cycle for now. I asked what I always ask the artist–”What do you want to draw?”

Will’s answer: crime. We’re both great admirers of Eduardo Risso’s work, so we knew it would look noir. But was it going to be noir? Well, it’s going to be a pretty modern tale of theft and shifting alliances, but the players will be a bit unusual. I have a default setting to making white male characters, and it wasn’t a choice so much as me just projecting in all directions. I’ve made a conscious effort to vary characters these days.

Here’s the opener to the first issue:

LYMAN V/O: Working in the sewers of Freedom City, Texas doesn’t lend itself to romance. It’s a combined storm and effluent system, meaning it’s twice as gross and deadly as you can imagine. On a good rain day, it’s like whitewater rafting with turds fighting for a chance to plop into your screaming mouth. When it’s been dry, gas pockets form that are just big enough that you couldn’t run out of it for a breath on the best day of your life. The gas in question is not oxygen. The turds strike again. We drive around in a truck for a lot of the day and spend the odd few hours down here unclogging the system. You’re happy when you manage to plunge your efforts clear of the bowl. Imagine our joy blowing loose a six foot tunnel of it.

But the theme? Movies. We’re gonna nerd it up. You will see.

The most interesting development is that we are aiming to do 24-28 page large size issues (like Syphilitic Cowboys), but in getting used to Will’s pacing, I undershot with the first issue. He called me a while back to say “It’s nine pages.” The way I write, I do screenplay format. I leave the panels and pacing to the guys with the mice and brushes. So now I’m stuck. “Do you want me to expand some stuff?” I ask. “No, it’s good as it is.” So, we move forward. There will be two chapters of the story in each issue from here. That’s pretty cool for dinking around with points of view and such.

I’m plain excited about the project, so excited I can’t even come up with a name for it yet. I’ve even been writing in on a huge sheet of packing paper folded into columns. That’s the way to roll.

Came home from a dinner out with Lonnie to celebrate his son Sam’s 17th Birthday (Sam and his pals sat at another table, chillin’), and saw the neighbor’s sump output blasting away and didn’t see mine going. Came inside, made a joke to Mom about the basement being flooded, hit the last step to the basement, and squish.

One hour at time and a half later, Robert from Professional Plumbing (recommended!) drove in from Cedar Rapids to replace the sump. We were very very lucky. Last time the flooding had all night to get around; this time it was two hours. So we’re taking turns on the wet vac until we can call our insurance guy Steve (also a solid guy) and Randy’s Carpets to set about getting dried out again.

The new pump is a more powerful model. I can hear it working from upstairs. It is my new favorite sound in the world. I thought orgasms sounded great. This is way better; it’s the sound of my basement not flooding.

Learned a new trick, too. When I saw the sump wasn’t going, I unplugged the two plug combo and plugged it in again, in hopes that the power cycle might wake it up. Turns out I was half right. The float mechanism had locked up for some reason (Robert felt around down in the well and said nothing was blocking it) and when he removed the float’s power and plugged the sump in directly, it started up again, but fitfully. The sump was almost done with this life, but the float was being weird. Anyways, either way it was time for the a new pump (and under warranty!).

My cell phone died last night nine days before the end of its warranty too. This is the kind of luck zen masters marvel over.

So it’s a long night using the wet vac and listening to Luciana Souza on my noise-canceling earbuds.

Carter tells me he found out last weekend was the last weekend before school in Orange County started. Another factor dampening things? Could be. All the same, I think we’re coming to the big Megacon anyways. We met some good folks and I think we can build on what we’ve started there.

Okay, pics and video.

Went to the Ripley’s believe It Or Not Museum on Friday and saw the genuine Vampire killing kit. Stabby!Lots of International Drive looks like this. It’s 21 miles long and is bounded at either end by a massive outlet mall. Everything that isn’t an attraction or a hotel (or the convention center) is someplace where you can buy stuff to pretend you went to any of those.

http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv15.nonxt2.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3Dffbbcc614d36bc2a%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1265267503%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D2D2B7D33EA96C2668357D919CF6FBE96BDEF74A7.20D509E6EE864B2C04C3CA80C4A36BC79316435D%26key%3Dck1&nogvlm=1&thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3Dffbbcc614d36bc2a%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3Drt1e3RVfqEfWvKVKHdnn5HVsJq8&messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Den
Okay, some video. The above is from setup day, Friday.

http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv22.nonxt1.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D5b628b10bc74ac59%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1265267503%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D4636AB4547F64BE21A160D238932EC4BC0C39DE7.3145E386538637A4B05A9C32A1B0010035565F55%26key%3Dck1&nogvlm=1&thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D5b628b10bc74ac59%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3DXmlRO2ZPCnMBkg8oMPun5D9NmvI&messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Den
One minute before opening on Saturday.

http://www.blogger.com/img/videoplayer.swf?videoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fv7.nonxt7.googlevideo.com%2Fvideoplayback%3Fid%3D796c2121489f9425%26itag%3D5%26begin%3D0%26len%3D86400000%26app%3Dblogger%26et%3Dplay%26el%3DEMBEDDED%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1265267503%26sparams%3Did%252Citag%252Cip%252Cipbits%252Cexpire%26signature%3D60365F8D41E6977ECAAC7774C146E300AF2D7926.152635A20E25BEEC63FA132695591A01A5EA7ED2%26key%3Dck1&nogvlm=1&thumbnailUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2FThumbnailServer2%3Fapp%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D796c2121489f9425%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw320%26sigh%3DER8RZxsdopOchWN3FJw_DmYlXz4&messagesUrl=video.google.com%2FFlashUiStrings.xlb%3Fframe%3Dflashstrings%26hl%3Den
They had a section where some intent fellows were duking it out with foam swords. That was okay, but then Ms Marvel, The Invisible Woman, and um…zombie girl pick up the swords. Had to rotate the video and somehow the conversion killed the sound. It sounded like a three-way tennis match.
That’s the Silver Surfer watching the above video.
Lady Blackhawk!
Zatanna didn’t believe me when I said the glasses make the whole getup better, but she was nice enough to leave them on anyways. Elims!

Iowa felt very nice, coming back. As I got off the plane in Cedar Rapids, I felt the noticeable shift between the gentle touch of cool air and Orlando’s constant attempts to shove water into every pore of my body. Still, being back to work makes me think that sitting at a table even at a low attendance con is still pretty good.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by, posed for pics, and chatted us up. People make the cons; it’s quality, not quantity. But a large quantity of quality people would be awesome too.

Well, that’s not promising. We were sent cards to provide info about ourselves and to confirm we’re coming and need a table and they all came back in the mail as RETURN TO SENDER UNLCAIMED UNABLE TO FORWARD. I even sent them in a certified mail envelope–the last time we went they said the never received my email conformation (When presented with a copy of the correspondence they found us space, but I’d rather not have to glower at somebody just to get my table).

I’ve sent an email to MNCBA@aol.com about this. More news as it breaks.

Well I’m back in Iowa. Carter shouldered the load today since Allegiant Air was only gonna take me back to CR today. We finally got some books sales on top of Carter’s commissions (a Starscream, a Leeja Clane and a magic soldier) after I left, but overall the first MiniMegaCon seemed a bit hamstrung. Lots of Artist Alley spaces were empty this morning and the exodus came fast, according to Carter. All the TWILIGHT-related guests had to cancel since New Moon is still filming. I was looking forward to talking to Peter Facinelli about Nurse Jackie, actually.

I think those cancellations really cut into things. Add the economy into this mix…and this. Seems there was a turf war going on vis-a-vis the anime programming. Certain events and guests were double-dipped apparently and there’s some hurt feelings. I just remember this morning hearing over the loudspeaker “There’s no line at the autograph area, so now’s the time to come on down!” Hell, they had Buffy people and one of the Doctors Who twiddling their thumbs. So three things really came together to knock down atendance.

Plus also there’s the Florida vibe. At this con people were way more interested in pinups than comics. A lot of the folks at Artist Alley were there to fill that specific need. Not a lot of comics. It explains the uptick in commissions, but it didn’t translate to say, art book sales. But it’s our first show down there and we’re brand new to them. So we’re meditating on or new principle of a lean mean effective table presence. Next up is Minnesota Fallcon; that should be interesting. We’ve been before, so we know the deal.

Did I buy stuff? Uh sure. There was a very good movie table I hit and I got a Black Mask figure from a Batman villains series for Lon. It’s one ugly cuss.

Regrets? Didn’t do putt-putt adventure, and never could catch the very nice fellow from ShockTactixGraphix again after a nice conversation on Friday.

The trip back was interesting; the guy next to me was shaping up to be one of those guys who gets his drinks cut off mid-flight so he takes a dump in the beverage cart. He was pestering the hell out of the stewardesses/air hosts about a concept of priority seating he paid for and felt was inadequate. He’d had a couple of drinks and my best guess at his point was that he wasn’t seated next to his wife and two kids, even though the longest row of seats was three. I dunno. He felt it should mean first crack at the drinks cart and he kept on about that. Every time his kids would get a little jolly he would pop his seatbelt, go over the seat and tell them things like “Your sister is sitting back there because you’re bad.” He’s gonna have some twitchy kids who wonder if Daddy drinks because they’re bad. I decided to nap away the journey in case he thought I could be recruited to his cause against the airline.

Well after we land I end up in the same shuttle back to IC/CV as him and his family. And he tries all sorts of tres-subtle remarks to get the driver to drop him off first, even though I’m much closer. I feel for this guy’s wife, who I didn’t hear once. I am grateful he wasn’t driving, though.

So I’ll get the pics and movies uploaded tomorrow, as I’ve just cut a few blisters open and am not feeling very upload-y right now.

This is an interesting show. Books aren’t moving, but Carter has taken several commissions. The bent of MiniMegaCon seems more toward art pieces than books. We chatted up many folks, gave them the rap on stuff like Sprocket…art book of movies that never got made…they look, the laugh, they say thanks and ask if Carter’s drawing.

It’s just what they want. The requests are even cool. One fellow asked for a drawing of a US soldier in a world where magic weapons are used. A little Dr Strange, a little The Hurt Locker, and kazam! (That’s kazam, Sir!) So we’re looking ahead to the big MegaCon (I think we’re gonna do it again), and planning more along those lines.

I am also planning to come out of the closet as a creator, not merely a writer. This is a Carter observation. Sure, writers don’t have a lot they can do at cons (although I have filled a napkin and two long faces of a sheet of packing paper with a most excellent yet overdue crime script–Sorry Will!), Carter said to me, think Stan Lee. “You created the world for 3/4 of the stuff on our table”, he pointed out.

Lots of the folks here in Artist Alley aren’t flogging a book. They’re selling their takes on existing properties. That’s great and all, but Carter’s point is I created a ton of stuff; act like it. So maybe not so much Stan Lee (which would make Carter Kirby, and Jer, I dunno, Ditko?), but as more of a liaison between the reader and the books, the worlds.

I think we’re also going to back off having the whole library available at every show. When we focus on a few books, there seems to be less confusion and we’re able to narrow our selling focus. Everything’s still in print and we will happily flog away at all our books on the web, but at cons we’re going to aim to make what’s available a little more focussed.

The last commission was from a mother and daughter, and the daughter (I don’t know if I heard either name, alas) wanted a sketch of Starscream (animated, not G1). She was over the moon about it, and that was great to see.

I did also catch pics and video of some costumes today. I’ll post them when I get home tomorrow. My cell phone’s transfer limit may not take to kindly to it.

We rounded out the night by going to see Inglourious Basterds and enjoying it mightily. A movie that makes you side with Brad Pitt is a wonder indeed. Sleep now.

It’s been a great day here in the oh-so-lovely air conditioned hall E1 of the Orlando Convention Center. This is easily the coolest costume con I’ve ever been to. A trio of young ladies came by our table as the Birds of Prey–one of them is actually confined to a wheelchair so she’s Barbara Gordon. That’s a really awesome thing for her friends to do.

Seen two very credible Zatannas, including one with a librarian bent that frankly does it for me.

We’re meeting folks, buying a few things, and really enjoying our time here. The postcards are going at a good clip and I don’t feel like I may be going insane. George Perez even popped by the Hero Initiative booth to sign and sketch for an hour. There are lots of costumes and since it’s Orange County, a very physically-credible looking bunch they are too. There waqs a dude in a Connor/Superman t-shirt who was built like Superman. Lots and lots of anime references I don’t get but appreciate, sure, but even a really great Ms Marvel and a really good Silver Surfer are lurking about. They all show care in their garb, but not the overpolished “this is my whole life” thing you sometimes see.

Oh good. There goes a fat guy in a Superman shirt. Okay, have my equilibrium back.

Am finally in fluid balance again and surprisingly not sunburned. I credit my new face regime. See, I’m turning 40 in a month or so and I started to think about how I’m starting to look Like my father. Dad had a lot of trouble with skin cancer; he was in the oil field and he was out on jobs all the time and suntan lotion was never really his thing. I’ve always used suntan lotion, but I thought why not really get proactive with the face? Men just don’t moisturize, you see.

So I do the Clinique Three step process (I’m a number 2, Clinique, if you’re into the freebies). I have a T-shaped oily zone. This makes sense to me because, well, I shave. That’s the best exfoliator there is. Anyways, I’m in this thing all the way. I came home fairly inebriated last weekend and I even did the regimen then, by gum. I’m surprised I didn’t eat the cotton ball, but there you go. The last step in the morning is a moisturizer that is a fairly potent sunblock.

Point of story? My face isn’t sunburnt, but the arms are borderline. I took a nap and then wandered into the Orange County Convention Center in search of my MegaCon badge and passed a Surf Expo and a gigantic convention of divorce mediators on the way to the funnybook purveyors.

Side point: I’d originally planned to hit a record store (Rock and Roll Heaven) and a comics place (Sci-Fi City), but when I asked the concierge if public transit or anything went into what is essentially the part of Orlando that people who have nothing to do with tourism live, they looked at me like I was nuts. “You could rent a car,” they suggested. The lady next to her asked why I’d want to go there, anyways. Ah, well.

So I got mine and Carter’s badges and set up our table in Artist Alley. They color-coded them, which is good, but the colors are reflected in the table coverings, which is frankly awesome. The result is a table address that sounds like a call sign: we are Green Four. “This is Green Four! I’ve got two tie fighters on my six and my R2 Unit’s twitchy after that last volley! Need backup!”

The room was not cooled for setup. Holy crap was it hot. They had garage doors open to the dock and it was raining cats and dogs and that still didn’t break the heat. Wandering through the rain to cool off only kinda works. The individual drops are nice and cool, but all the drops are packed in hot hot air. In all I ended up wet and still hot. Bleh. The con folks said the air would be on tomorrow, so good. There’s also going to be lots of food concessions in the room. I have my eye on the ice cream one.

The booths that set up early look pretty good. There’s an Astromech Building Society, and what looks to be an ECTO-1 pickup truck and a 2/3 scale landspeeder on display. There’s a heavy Anime emphasis, too. Picking up the booklet for the con, I was pleasantly surprised to find a full-page ad for WHAT’S HAPPENING magazine, “Florida’s premiere GLBT Entertainment Publication.” I still have vivid memories of watching several thousand congoers at a Wizard World Chicago walk around the Prism Comics booth like they were selling doses of the clap several years ago. The less skeeved out fandom gets about this, the better.

Just got a call from Carter. He lucked into a shuttle from the airport and we can use it to get back. So the flip-flop won’t be so pricey for me. Hurrah!

Remind me to tell you about the book I read on the plane. Never read any Balzac before; I keep wanting to call him Nutsack. (I like the book, I do!)

Am happily ensconced in my room at the Rosen Centre, a very 60s Florida looking hotel. The pool area looks white as Heaven might seem, the sun slowly annihilating the dermal layers of happy children. Learned an important lesson about Orlando and its airports. When Allegiant Air says they’re taking you to Orlando, they mean Sanford-Orlando (SFB). That’s a 90 dollar cab ride to the convention center here in Orlando proper. Carter has doped out shuttles (alas with a 24-hour minimum notice) for the trip back, but a freshman mistake nonetheless.

International Drive is the run of touristy places within Orlando. It is bordered on the north and south by two giant outlet malls. I got the day pass and hopped on to see the sights and got kicked off at the south end to wait for a northerly trolley. The tourist buses look like wood-paneled trolleys and they are staffed with really nice people.

While kicking around the not yet open outlet mall to the south, I got a powerful sense of being at a far-future museum of our culture. As you gaze down the miniature outdoor streets of it, it’s all white quasi-mission quasi-deco stuff with only shingle signs to give you advance notice of what’s down the path. I passed a few other people content merely to stare at closed mall stores and wonder what culture could produce such a thing.

Swinging north, I hit the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum. Twenty bucks gets you a pretty good experience. I would have lost my mind in there when I was nine. It’s a nerdy kid spot for sure. It even had a couple rooms designed to disorient you, one with the perspective all skewed and on the way out there was one of those rotating tunnels with a walkway. I’m not one for amusement rides, but I love a good bout of disorientation. Plus on display were penis sheaths and an “authentic” vampire hunting kit. Looked like everything you needed except a plane ticket out of Transylvania.

The heat creeps up on you here, like California. Although here it’s humid so you get a warning sign or two. So I took the north trolley to the other outlet mall and wandered it a bit. By this time it was open and very very hot out. But if you keep a good pace you can penetrate puffs of arctic air from inside the stores as people leave.

I had intended to check out the Flea Market, but as the Trolley approached it didn’t seem skeevy or promising enough. Poo.

Am now cooling my heels untiul after 2. Then I can go grab badges and get the lay of the land.

My hotel is full of the kind of people who say “brah.” Usage: “Hold the elevator, brah!”
Turns out there’s a surf convention in the same center. Will see if I can peek in there.